Fake news and commentary, published from Scotland
Roads, railways, construction.
A recent flurry of work commencing around the town has led to the swift construction of scaffolding at various sites. Along with the east side of lower Sinclair Street, the corner of its junction at Princess Street, the bottom of Colquhoun Street, and the efforts to place a temporary roof upon the storm stricken leisure […]
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Although the white Volkswagen will be a familiar sight to those passing by East King Street Park, few would imagine that it could draw the attention of Historic Scotland for a potentially “listed” status. It’s a title you’d normally think befitting of historic landmarks in the Helensburgh area such as The Hill House, the Clock […]
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Six years on from when Helensburgh Pier was closed to marine traffic, “as many people as possible” are being encouraged to gather on the pierhead this weekend to cheer a sail past by the paddle steamer, Waverley. Seemingly a recipe for disaster, the purpose of the occasion is intended as a show of support for […]
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On the afternoon of Saturday the 17th of February, the rapid charger beside the electrical cabinet at the pier car park began smoking due to a component failure. The local fire brigade were quick to attend, shutting down the apparatus and ensuring the area was safe. Perhaps being more safe than sorry, the ‘brigade taped […]
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Since Helensburgh’s new leisure centre opened in September 2022, regular patrons will by now be accustomed to the regular shouty aquatic torture classes that take place within. One local woman, who asked to be called H, decided against persevering with the new pool’s cauldron of noise and instead persevered with open water swimming during the […]
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Local group, Argyle and Bute Citizens Demanding Extra Funding for Grass in Helensburgh, are said to be “over the moon” at the number of residents who believe the pierhead site should be developed for leisure. “The response from the 10% of residents who could be arsed to complete the online survey clearly shows that over […]
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Popular walking routes, The Three Lochs Way and The John Muir Way could soon be joined by a new route for tourists to tackle. Although perhaps not as scenic as the others, the shorter “Three Gridlocks Way” will allow keen walkers to take in three different gridlocks in Helensburgh. Walkers tackling the route can start […]
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With Helensburgh evidently being the town where streets have no name, the ‘Adviser reached out to representatives for Irish rock band U2 for comment on the obvious parallels between the town and their song “Where the streets have no name.” Although Bono and Edge were unavailable, a spokesperson for the band commented that Helensburgh’s faded […]
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A recent post on the Facebook group Angry, Opinionated People of Helensburgh noting the filthy state of pavements has seemingly betrayed everything locals thought they knew to be true regarding how they have been kept clean in the past. A few misguided residents were certain they could remember a time when Argyll and Bute Council […]
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Overzealous nocturnal tree felling continues apace despite protests from sleepless residents.
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