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Author: George Ramsgate

A queue of traffic on West Clyde Street, Helensburgh

Plans afoot for the Three Gridlocks Way

March 27, 2022March 29, 2022George Ramsgate

Popular walking routes, The Three Lochs Way and The John Muir Way could soon be joined by a new route for tourists to tackle. Although perhaps not as scenic as the others, the shorter “Three Gridlocks Way” will allow keen walkers to take in three different gridlocks in Helensburgh. Walkers tackling the route can start […]

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A faded street sign on West Abercromby Street in Helensburgh

U2 mildly embarrassed by Helensburgh song connection

November 13, 2021November 13, 2021George Ramsgate

With Helensburgh evidently being the town where streets have no name, the ‘Adviser reached out to representatives for Irish rock band U2 for comment on the obvious parallels between the town and their song “Where the streets have no name.” Although Bono and Edge were unavailable, a spokesperson for the band commented that Helensburgh’s faded […]

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A dirty pavement on Sinclair Street, Helensburgh

Residents astonished to learn that rain was cleaning the pavements all along

July 26, 2021July 26, 2021George Ramsgate

A recent post on the Facebook group Angry, Opinionated People of Helensburgh noting the filthy state of pavements has seemingly betrayed everything locals thought they knew to be true regarding how they have been kept clean in the past. A few misguided residents were certain they could remember a time when Argyll and Bute Council […]

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Graffiti on the Cenotaph wall at Hermitage Park

Vandal alleges that Michael G shared confidential information

November 15, 2019November 20, 2019George Ramsgate

A cowardly delinquent defaced the cenotaph wall at Hermitage Park in a poorly executed defamation attempt just days before Remembrance Sunday.

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The devastation caused by Network Rail's tree-felling activities

Network Rail chainsaw massacre roars in the dead of night

August 15, 2019August 15, 2019George Ramsgate

Overzealous nocturnal tree felling continues apace despite protests from sleepless residents.

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Vandal Land logo over a picture of Hermitage Park

Theme park magnate in Hermitage Park bid

July 1, 2019July 22, 2019George Ramsgate

The recently rejuvenated park is under consideration as the site of a new venture with the potential to generate thousands in “delinquent tourism” money.

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Riverhill Courtyard kitchen exhaust venting smoke

Festive pea soup traced to town centre restaurant vent

February 6, 2019February 6, 2019George Ramsgate

The source of the thick fog that blanketed Helensburgh during the Christmas holidays has been linked to Riverhill Courtyard Restaurant & Bar kitchen exhaust. Conditions that impacted visibility in Helensburgh’s town centre and surrounding area for several days was merely thought to be due to seasonal weather. However, the ‘Adviser has discovered that the festive […]

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Festive robin decoration in "legs on" mode

Colquhoun Square robin sets new standard for festive illuminations

January 9, 2019January 9, 2019George Ramsgate

Public opinion suggests that the crudely animated robin in the north-west corner of the square with the disappearing beak and legs might just be the most pointless decoration ever.

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A parking ticket machine in Helensburgh's Sinclair Street car park

Sinclair Street car park set to become Escape Room

December 19, 2018December 19, 2018George Ramsgate

Although a final decision on the fate of the site’s challenging parking meters has yet to be made, the ‘Adviser has learned that the machines could feature in a popular entrapment game.

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Anne of Loudounville

Anne of Loudounville join in Black Friday hysteria

November 23, 2018November 30, 2018George Ramsgate

The town centre gift shop has made the unexpected move of joining in the mass consumer frenzy by “slashing prices” for the event known as Black Friday.

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