Bicentennial road resurfacing disturbs ancient fault line

Infrastructure Roads Town centre

Through leaked documents, the Helensburgh Adviser has learned that the recent road resurfacing works in the town centre disturbed a long since forgotten fault line, triggering an earthquake.

Argyll & Bute Council’s hastily commissioned internal report suggests that the 2.4 magnitude quake that occurred shortly before midnight on August 30th was probably triggered by the sudden use of heavy machinery in the area.

Surprised residents who experienced the tremor flooded social media with posts reporting various levels of disturbance depending on their locality. One resident, who has clearly never experienced an actual lorry crashing into their house, took to Facebook to comment that it felt like a lorry crashing into the side of a house.

Local businessman and celebrity, Robert Ryan, promptly took to Facebook to launch an appeal for aid to help those worst affected. It is unclear whether he has managed to reach his fundraising target.

It was thought that due to the quake, the road works in Helensburgh might be conducted at an even slower pace than normal. An Argyll and Bute Council spokesman declined to comment on the documents uncovered by the ‘Adviser and dismissed the claim that the road resurfacing project in the area could go any slower.

“I don’t think people should have anything to worry about. The resurfacing is proceeding as scheduled and, in comparison to glaciers, for example, the rate of progress is breathtaking.” The spokesman told us.