Construction works at Craigendoran Pier

Local man suspects Craigendoran pier construction is lair of criminal mastermind

Infrastructure Local News

The seemingly perpetual construction taking place at the head of Craigendoran pier has prompted a local man to contact the Helensburgh Adviser to suggest that the works are not as innocent as first appears.

The man, who said his name was Arthur, told us that he’d been taking notes for several months whilst walking his dog on the waste ground near the pier.

“At first I never paid any mind to what was going on. But one day my dug, Mulder, stopped in his tracks and gave the workers a long, hard stare. I thought he’d spotted another dug but when I looked I could see the workers were lowering a strange bit of equipment intae the ground. It just didnae look right.” Arthur told us, “And then it struck me that nae normal works would have been going on for as long as those have. They bring a lot of stuff there and it aw’ just disappears. Something had tae be going on!”

Since Mulder first raised the alarm, Arthur has been keeping a watchful eye on the project. Taking notes of the daily activities he has observed from a safe distance through a pair of binoculars, Arthur began to build a picture of what was really going on at the pier head. It was only this week when he reached the conclusion that someone was constructing a secret lair.

“I’ve seen aw they classic Bond movies. The ones where the villain has a massive base, maybe hidden in a volcano or underground near an innocent looking town. Well, I always thought that somebody had tae have built all they bases and somebody had tae have seen it happen. The nearby pubs would have been swarmin’ wi’ contractors and the like when the base was getting built. You don’t see that bit in the movies, but it stands to reason.”

“I think that’s what’s happening right under our noses. Think about it – that pier has easy access to the Clyde for a wee submarine to spy on the Navy submarines, for instance. There’s even a station for aw’ the henchmen to commute into work. Fae the Renton, probably.” Arthur hypothesised.

During a recent visit to the site for another feature, this reporter was unable to verify Arthur’s account. The construction equipment appeared to be branded by the manufacturer rather than some mysterious unknown entity and the vans spotted in the area merely said “Scottish Water” on the side.

“That’s just a cover!” Arthur exclaimed when we told him of our findings. “Why would we need vans full of water? The stuff falls fae the sky about 300 days a year – it’s a front, I’m tellin’ ye.”

We promised Arthur we’d keep an eye on the situation and we’ll bring readers an update as soon as we have anything concrete on the construction at Craigendoran pier.