Fake news and commentary, published from Scotland
Content related to our beloved, beautifully paved, charity shop-lined, gridlocked town centre.
A Helensburgh resident got in touch to voice his disappointment with Helensburgh’s Gala Day & Dog Show held in August, calling it “a poor choice of venue.” “For a start, I had no idea how they were going to cram everything in.” A local man, Arthur (59) told us. “But I like to support these […]
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The Dapper Dug, Helensburgh’s newest and most recently closed pub, has potentially set a new record for the shortest opening to closure period ever. After numerous delays, the gastro pub finally opened on James Street in mid June 2022. Occupying the building that was originally a cinema before it became a snooker club and amusement […]
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Popular walking routes, The Three Lochs Way and The John Muir Way could soon be joined by a new route for tourists to tackle. Although perhaps not as scenic as the others, the shorter “Three Gridlocks Way” will allow keen walkers to take in three different gridlocks in Helensburgh. Walkers tackling the route can start […]
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A recent post on the Facebook group Angry, Opinionated People of Helensburgh noting the filthy state of pavements has seemingly betrayed everything locals thought they knew to be true regarding how they have been kept clean in the past. A few misguided residents were certain they could remember a time when Argyll and Bute Council […]
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A menacing seagull has been seen swooping to attack innocent pedestrians at the junction of Sinclair Street and King Street in Helensburgh.
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Helensburgh pub regulars stunned as group of young men from the ‘base quietly enjoy drinks in a local pub without being idiots.
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The source of the thick fog that blanketed Helensburgh during the Christmas holidays has been linked to Riverhill Courtyard Restaurant & Bar kitchen exhaust. Conditions that impacted visibility in Helensburgh’s town centre and surrounding area for several days was merely thought to be due to seasonal weather. However, the ‘Adviser has discovered that the festive […]
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Public opinion suggests that the crudely animated robin in the north-west corner of the square with the disappearing beak and legs might just be the most pointless decoration ever.
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Although a final decision on the fate of the site’s challenging parking meters has yet to be made, the ‘Adviser has learned that the machines could feature in a popular entrapment game.
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For November we’re showcasing a seagull surveying Colquhoun Square from atop the old post office building. We waited a good few minutes watching as he made circuits of the square, hoping he’d land upon the highest point of the building but he was content to settle for the chimney.
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